How couples who got their dogs together divide pet care tasks

If you’re reading this, you already know: Caring for pets can be a lot of work. (Rewarding, worthwhile work! But still: Responsibility for another living creature takes effort.) There are the financial costs—my own cattle dog, Scout, costs me a couple thousand dollars each year—and the intangible ones, too. Is your pup getting enough exercise? Do they have a routine feeding schedule? Are you able to come home from work at a consistent time each day? How are their enrichment needs being met?

Navigating the experience with support from a partner can make everything more manageable. There have been many times in life with Scout where I simply wouldn’t have been able to attend a work event or family gathering if I couldn’t count on Sean stepping in. But splitting up responsibilities in a way that feels fair—if not always directly equal—can sometimes cause conflict, too.

We asked nine pet parents how they divide and conquer pet-care responsibilities in their own households. Although everyone’s situation is different, we found a few patterns about what works and what doesn’t.

Here’s part one: How Kazzie and Kona, Hannah and Peter, and Victoria and Alain care for the dogs they adopted together. Stay tuned for parts two and three!

Kazzie and Kona: Different schedules and levels of experience

TL;DR: Kazzie handles most of the care for her and her fiancé’s three dogs: Shy, a border collie mix; Waddle, a corgi; and Tilly, a young Australian cattle dog puppy. This is because she has more time and a greater interest in dog training. Everyone is happy with the arrangement!

“Kona and I have supported each other through some really hard moments, including the loss of our first soul dogs,” says Kazzie. “We also live with a more complex dog, Shy, who has significant reactivity and anxiety. She’s made huge progress, but it’s taken a lot of patience, management, and ongoing work. Supporting each other through tough days has made a big difference.”

• Did you get your pets together?
  
  • All three of our current dogs (Shy, Waddle, and Tilly) have been acquired while we were dating or engaged.
• Did one of you want pets more than the other?
  
  • Yes! We got our dogs while we’ve been together, but two of them are more mine (Waddle and Tilly) and one is more Kona’s. I want even more—but Kona has put his foot down at three.
• How do you divide up pet care tasks?
  
  • I handle the majority due to my experience as a dog trainer/behaviorist and a more flexible schedule as an online graduate student. I manage feeding, walks, grooming, training, vet visits, and daily enrichment. Kona contributes by spending quality time with the dogs and providing affection outside of his full-time work hours.
  • Even joyful moments like getting our new puppy, Tilly, came with challenges. The first two weeks were exhausting: crate training, sleepless nights, constant care. I took night duty, and Kona stepped in during his lunch breaks and after work so I could rest.
• How do you talk about division of pet care labor?
  
  • These conversations are generally open and respectful. We recognize our strengths, schedules, and capacities, which helps us divide tasks fairly. When disagreements come up, we try to focus on the needs of the dogs rather than placing blame.
• Any tips for someone having these conversations in their own family?
  
  • Our tip is to approach it as a shared goal: what’s best for the animals and sustainable for everyone involved. Be honest about your limits, listen to each other, and stay flexible. The biggest thing we’ve learned is that pet care is about more than tasks, it’s about partnership.
  • The future mental health counselor in me wants to add: treat these conversations and challenges the same way you’d approach any other shared responsibility in a relationship! Prioritize each other, show up when it’s hard, and the dogs will thrive because of it.
• What’s your favorite thing about your dogs?
  
  • Our favorite thing about our dogs is the deep bond we share with them and the joy they bring to our daily lives. Kona especially loves the connection and companionship, while I find joy watching the dogs thrive through enrichment, training, and care. Being “dog parents” together is incredibly rewarding.
  • One of my favorite moments is seeing Kona get off work, crouch down, and call out “Tilly!” in a high-pitched voice. Tilly runs over, tail wagging, full of kisses, and it never fails to melt my heart!

Hannah and Peter: Even day-to-day split

TL;DR: Hannah and her husband Peter split day-to-day tasks pretty evenly for their two heeler mixes, Willow and Aspen. When it comes to responsibilities beyond the basics, Hannah takes the lead.

“Make sure the creatures you are responsible for are healthy and loved, and outside of that give yourself grace if things don't look the way you thought they would,” Hannah recommends.

• Did you get your pets together?
  
  • We got Aspen together “for me” and Willow a few months later “for Peter” and also so Aspen had a friend.
• Did one of you want pets more than the other?
  
  • I was definitely more driven to homing and training a dog.
• How do you divide up pet care tasks?
  
  • Feeding and cleaning up after them is pretty even, but I take care of everything outside of the basics. I have better capacity and interest for it.
• How do you talk about division of pet care labor?
  
  • We're happy with the division of labor so don't spend much time talking about it. We openly discuss if there's any concern of the girl's health or overall well-being.
• What’s your favorite activity to do together?
  
  • We love to go hiking!

Victoria and Alain: Flexible shared support

TL;DR: Victoria wanted a dog more than her partner, Alain. She does a lot more of the pet care tasks for their village dog, Suki, because she wants to.

“Alain is an amazing partner and excels in many things, but caring for Suki is what I excel in, and I’m so thankful that he lets me make the decisions and just goes with the flow,” Victoria says. “He’s also very supportive.”

• Did you get your pets together?
  
  • We adopted Suki together. I had a two-year-old American bulldog in mind, but the rescue insisted on us meeting their newest litter that arrived from the Bahamas. Alain and Suki clicked right away. He had never owned a dog before (while my family had had dogs my entire life) so it felt right to choose one he felt something special for.
• Did one of you want pets more than the other?
  
  • Me! Dogs have always been in my life and not having one when I moved out of my parents felt like a crime. I waited years before I could be financially stable enough to get one and that time finally came a year into my relationship with Alain. Alain could have done without a dog if I hadn’t pushed for it, but he loves what our spicy little nugget’s brought into our lives.
• How do you divide up pet care tasks?
  
  • I do a lot more, but it’s because I want to. Dogs are more than just family to me. It’s a hobby for me at this point. I’m the decision maker when it comes to Suki. I consult Alain if one of my decisions comes with a large expense (for example: switching to a raw diet or hiring a dog trainer) but he’s generally very supportive. I handle all her meds, vet appointments, food orders... I handle her training as well.
  • In terms of her daily care, Alain is more involved: on weekdays, he does morning walks and I do afternoon walks. She only eats once a day so we alternate who feeds her in the morning, but I’d say he feeds her more often than I do. We both play with her daily but I’m more intentional about it. We brush her teeth a few times a week and we both do it the same amount of times I’d say. On the weekends, we do both walks together.
  • We’re also flexible, so we’re happy to step in for the other to do their daily tasks! If Alain has an early meeting, I’ll walk Suki twice that day. If I have a work out class right after work, Alain will walk her twice. We’re happy to help each other, plus we love doing things with Suki anyways.
• How do you talk about division of pet care labor?
  
  • Whenever we have a disagreement, we always talk about it and listen to each other. If one of us feels like they’re taking on too much, we always voice it to the other, and the other steps in more, even if it’s just temporarily, maybe to help out during a difficult time.
• What’s your favorite thing about your dog?
  
  • My favorite thing about Suki is our bond. I feel like she’s my best friend and I am hers. I love spending time with her.

Find what works for you

No one we interviewed—and no one I’ve ever met in real life—treats pet parenthood in exactly the same way. That’s okay! There’s no single “right” answer when it comes to dividing up pet care tasks. What matters most is communication, mutual support, and figuring out what keeps things running smoothly in your own household.

If you’re looking for inspiration? Pull ideas from how fellow couples structure their responsibilities. But don’t treat anyone else’s approach as your own blueprint. You know your own pets, partner, and preferences best.